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Simon asked...

My 18 year old son is having anger issues. He is a good boy but trouble seems to find him. When he goes out, whatever aura he gives off seems to attract people who want to fight with him. The culture of teenagers today seems to be very confrontational.

He is strong and able to defend himself but the problem is that he tells me when he gets cornered he will do anything to win and will not back down from any threat. He is a privately educated boy trying to make it as a golf pro, so not a thug or a trouble maker. In fact he avoids going out because of the potential for his anger to emerge.

He has asked me to help him so he is aware of his anger problem, he even sought out help from a counsellor without my knowledge but he said they did not help him. My concern over going to a GP is that he gets directed to one of these general counsellors again. You advice would be greatly appreciated.

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The Answer

Anger is a common teenage emotion to manage,  many of your son’s peers will also be experiencing this same emotion, which may  exacerbate your son’s anger issues. The teenage years are full of  many psychological challenges to navigate as a teenager. Some of these challenges can be due to changing relationships, a purpose in life, identity issues and the impact of neurotransmitters  (brain chemicals) within the teenage brain. These challenges may lead to feelings of being overwhelmed which may result in anger.

It is commendable that your son has  taken the responsibility to manage his anger issues with a counsellor. Sometimes we need  to persist and find a  counsellor or  psychotherapist that we can really connect with. We would suggest that you contact the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and find a psychotherapist who can demonstrate their expertise to you and your son.

We would suggest that you find a ‘good book’ on anger management in conjunction with your son’s therapist. Anger issues may be helped with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approaches. Your son’s persistence in dealing with his anger and other teenage issues with a  therapist, will I am sure lead to increasing levels of confidence and performance in managing emotions through the turbulent times of being a teenager.

Answered by Health at Hand nurses.

 

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