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Louise asked...

Stressful marriage break up.

Tags: Depression , Stress

I'm completely exhausted! I'm going through a marriage break up at the moment and my ex-husband and I are still living in the same house it's very stressful and as time goes on I am finding it more and more difficult, this has been going on for over a year now and there is no sign of this changing he won't leave and I can't leave as we have 3 children which I would have to walk out on which I would never do!

I never have any money as I don't work due to a medical condition so can't afford to see my Doctor. Feel like I'm cracking up and not sure how much more I can take. Any coping advise would be great.

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The answer

I am sorry to read about the circumstances you find yourself in following the breakdown of your marriage. It is, indeed, an extremely stressful experience that can be unsettling for the whole family. You mention that you are unable to work due to a medical condition you have and, therefore, have little money, but this does not preclude you from seeking free legal advice which is available to everyone, regardless of income. This advice will help you with the practicalities of divorce, if that is what you want, and the arrangements regarding the property, the children and financial support.

The emotional impact of marriage breakdown can also be high and can include feelings of grief, loneliness, guilt, frustration, anxiety, anger and, sometimes, depression. In order to manage your emotions and maintain your ability to be an effective parent to your three children, it is important to have people to talk to. These may be family or friends as well as professionals such as psychotherapists and counsellors. Your GP may also be able to support you, tending to your physical and emotional medical needs as appropriate.

Keeping yourself healthy by eating well and taking regular exercise will help you cope emotionally and you may also consider taking up Yoga or Meditation classes. It is important to avoid taking non-prescription drugs and alcohol to help you cope and I would also urge you to avoid any angry impulses towards your ex husband that may lead to acts of revenge. Keeping a journal of how you are feeling can be helpful in expressing your emotions day and night and is a healthy way to ‘off load’ negative feelings surrounding the whole situation.

Try to take time to help yourself relax. Have a bath, watch a movie or prepare your favourite meal to distract yourself. This sort of relaxation will also help you to sleep better and so boost your energy to cope with the daily routines of family life as a single parent.

I hope you find this helpful and wish you all the best moving forward.

Answered by Health at Hand nurses.


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