The worries and concerns of modern life can take their toll on your health and well-being. If you’re keen to change your outlook and tackle stress head-on, coach and personal development expert Antoinette Dale Henderson has some well-tried tips.

Stress and anxiety seem to have become an all too common side-effect of our busy, pressured and modern lives. According to recent research by Mintel, as many as 40 million adults now admit to suffering from stress and anxiety on a regular basis. Only a fortunate 17 per cent of Britons claim to be free of any kind of worry.

According to coach and personal development expert Antoinette Dale Henderson, of all the issues worrying people, the top five tend to be caused by money, family and relationships, health, stress at work and job security or employment.

Most people admit to being troubled with one or two worries but a third of adults are burdened by three or more concerns causing them stress.

The big five stressors

Can you relate to any of these causes of stress?

1. Money
   Forty per cent of people are regularly stressed out and worried about money issues, such as the cost of living, managing cash flow and paying bills.
2. Family and relationships
   A quarter of the people surveyed worry about family and relationships, including difficulties other people are going through.
3. Health
   Health concerns cause stress and worry to 24 per cent of people; common worries revolve around current health issues and concern about future health.
4. Stress at work
   Pressure and stress at work, such as dealing with difficult work situations, colleagues and demands, causes stress for 22 per cent of people.
5. Job security or employment
   Worries about employment and job security have been heightened by the recession, resulting in 21 per cent of people feeling stressed about these issues.

What does ‘being stressed’ feel like?

According to the NHS, stress can affect you physically, emotionally and behaviourally, resulting in symptoms and feelings such as exhaustion, headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, irritability, anxiety, fear and depression. It becomes difficult to function normally and your ability to work, juggle family life and think straight can be affected.

“Every person’s experience of stress is unique but most people’s stress is compounded by a sense of helplessness and the feeling that nothing can be done to overcome their situation,” explains Antoinette.

“Even though you may feel helpless and at your wit’s end, there’s usually something that you can do to alleviate stress and move towards a more fulfilling future,” says Antoinette.

Reducing stress

Keen to change things and ease your worries? Here’s Antoinette’s three-step approach to taking small - but important – steps to reduce the stress in your life.

1. Identify the root source of your worries and stress
   Sometimes it’s not always obvious to identify the root cause of your worries or there could be more than one area in life triggering stress.
   
   “Keeping a stress diary can be a useful way of identifying the triggers,” suggests Antoinette.
   
   “Once you’re clear on the area/s of your life that are causing you the most stress, you can begin to take steps to address them.”
2. Devise ways to change
   Start thinking about the things you can do that will make a positive difference.
   
   For example, devising a budget and organising your finances more efficiently could help ease some of your cash-flow worries. Looking for a new job or cutting back on working hours could help you begin to move away from a stressful working environment.
   
   And don’t feel you’ve got to do this on your own – advice and suggestions from others can be beneficial. “You may like to talk these through with a friend or work them through with a qualified coach,” says Antoinette.
3. Think positively
   There may be areas in your life that feel completely beyond your control.
   
   “Although you may not be able to change everything in your life that brings you stress, what you can change is the way you think about them,” advises Antoinette.
   
   “For example, rather than thinking negatively about your problems or worries, try and view them in a more positive light.
   
   “Instead of thinking ‘my finances are terrible and I’ll never be able to afford to move’, change the negative language into positive words, such as ‘I’m learning to manage my finances and save towards the future’.
   
   Writing down positive thoughts (e.g. “Every day, I’m making small changes and things are getting better”) can also help lift your mood and the way you view things.

Moving forward

“These steps may not eliminate stress overnight but they are a great way of moving beyond the situation as it is now and working towards a more balanced future,” adds Antoinette.

If you feel you could benefit from additional help, book a session with a counsellor or qualified coach, or see your GP for advice.


If you have any questions about coping with stress and anxiety, you can send them to our panel of experts.